Belong Before You Believe: Shaping a Culture That Looks Like the Shepherd

I can remember it like it was yesterday.

2018 was my fifth year at my church. We were in the midst of trying to bring new things—efforts that were thought through with some intentionality and a side of strategy.

It was GO WKND. Cool enough name, right?

We brought in a former intern and a friend to do the speaking for this retreat. Cole knew the culture we were seeking to integrate into our environments, so he was perfect for the job.

We were meeting at one of our leader’s parent’s barns for this session. It was awesome. It was rustic. And the Lord was doing some cool things.

Throughout the weekend, Cole dug into a phrase that we had been using in our high school environment for a couple of years. It had become like a mantra for us—a driving phrase that fueled and framed our efforts with high school students.

The mantra we had begun to bring to light was simple, but for us it was significant and shaping. It provided a directive for how to go and what to focus our efforts on.

The phrase was simple:

You can Belong before You Believe.

This phrase wasn’t just a pithy idea that we got from some creative book on mottos and mantras. We meant it.

We meant it because we were aware that Jesus made a way for us to belong again when we had lost our way.
We meant it because Jesus created a space for us to belong that would show us the freedom of belief.
We meant it because high school students need to know the safety, the assurance, and the kindness of Jesus to help them walk into a full faith in Him.

So, it was crazy to me when a sophomore girl came up to me and said,

“I’d heard you say that, but I don’t think I ever knew what that meant.”

That comment has stayed with me. It was a reminder that clarity and culture don’t happen automatically—they have to be lived out, not just talked about, over time.

From 2018–2025: What’s Changed, What Hasn’t

It’s funny—seven years later we’re still chasing that culture down every time we meet, but with greater clarity and even more intensity.

What we’ve found is that since 2020, students need the assurance of a place that will accept them the way the gospel portrays grace all the more.

Students today are facing a different darkness than even in 2018, but the light of the gospel still remains the same. The clouds of anxiety, depression, comparison, and algorithms have ensnared, enraged, entrapped, and entertained students nearly to numbness—but the freedom of finding your way back home with Jesus is the power that breaks those chains.

When we say you can belong before you believe, we’re not saying belief doesn’t matter. We’re saying that belonging is often the doorway to belief.
It’s the coffee shared before the confession made. The conversation before the conversion. And that takes time to develop.

And we know this is becoming more of a reality when we see a few things happening:

It’s the student who keeps showing up even though they don’t sing a word during worship.
It’s the student who shows up when their family has never darkened the door of a church building.
It’s the small group leader who listens more than they correct.
It’s that moment at camp when a student finally recognizes they don’t have to fake it to fit in.

Mission Shapes the Mantra

Take Luke 15 as an example of how this is fleshed out.

The lost sheep didn’t find its way home because it finally heard the bleats of the ninety-nine. The shepherd decided that the One remaining lost was an unacceptable reality for his flock.

The shepherd shaped the culture of his herd by leaving the ninety-nine to pursue the One and bring it back into the fold—to go and bring the One back to the place where it belonged.

The shepherd knows that a lost One needs to be pursued so that it can find its way home.
That’s what belonging before believing looks like—showing people a home before they’ve even decided they want to stay and become part of the family.

And if we’re going to reach the One—if One Matters—then we’ve got to be willing to create a space that does the same.

If we’re going to live this out in our own ministries, it can’t just be a phrase we nod along to.
It has to shape the way we build culture—the way we lead, the way we listen, the way we show up for students.

How to Shape a “Belong Before You Believe” Culture

Here are a few ways this mantra can start forming the DNA of any youth ministry that wants to stay on mission and keep its eyes on the One:

1. Lead with Presence, Not Performance

The culture focused on the ninety-nine pays attention to preferences: Sing my song. Play my game. Feed the consumer in me.

This is already pervasive in culture—dare I say, even in evangelical church culture.
We can’t allow that to remain the case in this generation.
Frankly, most students wouldn’t tolerate it because it doesn’t carry enough weight and doesn’t have the substance they’re seeking.

The culture focused on the One pays attention to people—and stays present enough to notice who’s missing.
It invites adults who are going to shepherd the way they expect a pastor would.

It’s a culture that requires more than just office hours.
It’s a culture shaped by showing up consistently and unexpectedly—especially when the connection to the student isn’t just because they attend your church.

The most powerful thing we can offer our students isn’t a perfect production—it’s our presence.
The student who doesn’t believe yet doesn’t need to be impressed; they need to be known.

Students become known when they can belong.

2. Create Environments That Feel Like Home

Home is a place that inherently fosters authenticity.
It’s where you can plop down on the couch and bring up the most ridiculous question, and your siblings dive in just because they want to see where you take it.

Home is the place where it’s okay to wrestle—and we’re going to love you even if we don’t agree.

That means we have to build spaces that are safe before they’re slick.

It means we teach leaders to hold space for both deep and left-field things, not just hold mics and explain everything away through the framework and history they bring—because they recognize that students are in process.

It means the small group room, the worship night, or even the van ride to the retreat feels like somewhere a student can breathe again after a tough week of walking through this valley.

3. Model Grace That Outlasts Behavior

Jesus didn’t set behavior as the doorway to belonging—He set Himself.

Students are growing, learning, processing, and discovering who they are and what it means for them to follow after a Jesus who has pursued them.

When a student expresses evidence of that development, our posture will explain everything.
How we respond often speaks louder than any well-articulated argument could.

If our belonging is only for the compliant, then it’s not the gospel.
Grace isn’t just what we teach; it’s what we extend long enough for belief to take root.

4. Send Students Into the Mission, Not Just Into the Room

Belonging before believing isn’t the finish line—it’s the launch pad.

The sooner we help students grab this reality, the sooner they’ll begin to foster this culture in their circles of influence.

When students experience belonging, they start to extend it.
They begin to see their schools, teams, and communities differently.

And we’ve seen it—students catch the vision of Matthew 28 when they clearly see the person who articulated the mission.

A youth ministry that creates a culture of belonging will be a catalyst for students growing a heart like the Shepherd—as He equips them and empowers them to go carry the culture of Christ to the One He lays in front of them.

They’ve experienced the freedom of being found—and are launched to go and find.

Why It Matters Beyond Our Ministries

The truth is that students are often on the leading edge of change in the Church. This is no different.

Stop for a second and imagine if this kind of culture wasn’t just shaping youth rooms but shaping the Church. The ripple effect will stretch far beyond student ministry.

Churches would stop being known for who’s not allowed and start being known for who’s welcome.

Communities would begin to recognize the Church as the safest place to wrestle with belief—not the last resort once you’ve figured it out.

And a generation would begin to see that following Jesus isn’t about arriving—it’s about being found, loved, and sent.

The energy of students, empowered by the Holy Spirit and equipped for the multiplying mission of Jesus, is the undeniable evidence that inspires older generations to truly shift their focus from the ninety-nine to the One.

And when this happens—things change.

A Prayer for the Shepherds

My prayer is that every youth pastor, small group leader, and volunteer would carry this conviction into their corner of the world:

Belong before you believe isn’t just a mantra—it’s the movement of the Shepherd’s heart.

And if our ministries start to look more like Him, the One won’t stay lost for long.