Be Kind to Yourself as the Year Ends

There’s a lot that comes with the end of a year.

Moments you didn’t expect.
Decisions that mattered more than you realized at the time.
Things that shaped the year — for better or worse.

Earlier this week, I encouraged reflection in Before You Rush Into the Next Year — not as a competitive scorecard, but as an invitation to slow down long enough to listen to what the year actually taught you.

Reflection helps us notice a few things: what shaped us, what drained us, and what we learned in the real moments of life — not just the planned ones.

But in the process of reflection, it’s all too easy to become our own harshest critic.

When we look back, we start framing the year by how we responded, what we initiated, what we avoided, and what we wish we would have handled differently. Some of that kind of reflection is healthy — necessary, even.

But there’s one thing I want to say clearly — especially on a night like this:

Be kind to yourself.

That doesn’t mean avoiding responsibility.
It doesn’t mean ignoring patterns that need to change.
And it doesn’t mean pretending everything was fine when it wasn’t.

What it does mean is refusing the lie that being harsher with yourself will somehow produce a better future.

Many of us believe — quietly — that if we’re more critical, more demanding, or more disappointed in ourselves, we’ll finally will a better life into being. But what I’ve noticed is the opposite often happens.

In the process of evaluating the steps and missteps of a year, we can end up bullying ourselves into paralysis.

We stop accurately assessing our efforts.
We exaggerate our failures.
We discount what was faithful, good, and necessary.

Instead of adjusting wisely, we get stuck — projecting negativity onto the past and carrying it forward into what’s next.

That’s not growth.
That’s weight.

Scripture gives us a different frame for reflection. In Philippians 1:6, Paul writes:

“He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

That sentence matters as a year closes.

It reminds us that our lives are not self-contained projects. We are not the sole architects of our growth. God is not standing at the end of the year with a red pen, grading our performance. He is faithfully at work — patiently, intentionally, and persistently — bringing to completion what He began.

So as you reflect tonight, try this posture instead:

Be honest — but gentle.
Clear-eyed — but gracious.
Responsible — but not ruthless.

You brought something to the table this year that mattered. You contributed good things — often in ways you didn’t notice or celebrate. And you will continue to bring those things with you into what’s next.

But you can only grow if you accurately understand what needs to be refined and what needs to be released. Kindness toward yourself doesn’t stop growth — it actually creates the space where growth can happen.

As the new year approaches, I’m looking forward to spending some time expanding on a few of these ideas here. They come out of a message I shared at my home church — ideas that deserve more clarity and more room to breathe than a single moment allows. My hope is to process them slowly and thoughtfully, trusting that depth is often formed over time, not rushed in a moment.

For tonight, though, this is enough.

Tell the truth about the year.
Release what no longer belongs.
And be kind to yourself as God continues His work in you.

Grace and peace as this year closes.
And grace and peace as a new one begins.