Pandemic or Not: Three Things for Parents that are still True

As they roll out vaccines and the light at the end of the tunnel comes more and more into view, there are some things are becoming increasingly clear that were realities in the middle of the pandemic. Some effects of the pandemic that need to be addressed and appropriately framed as a result.

Many effects of the pandemic have been written about in great detail. Mental health of health workers, the vibrancy of the students that are quarantined at home, and the quality of life being experienced by seniors are a few that rise to the top of the discussion.

But, when the dust settles and historians begin to do what historians do, one story that needs to be investigated is the affect this had on parents. The people who accepted the call to grow and shape the children of our society and our culture. This season has had a toll on parents.

And I have been so heartened by the ways that parents have been creative. There have been so many stories of parents re-prioritizing and re-evaluating their norms. I have encountered so many parents getting a different picture of what is important when their lives were forced to step away from the tyranny of the urgent.

So here are three observations that I hope will be encouraging to parents as we begin to exit pandemic and move into post-pandemic life.

1. You are the most significant force in the life of a kid. This has always been true, but it was most obvious throughout the pandemic. When kids couldn’t be in their normal places of socialization, in the routines that would keep them mental healthy, and doing the things that gave them purpose, you were still there.

In my entire time in ministry, I’ve never been more assured of the impact of a parent on a student than during the last 11 months. The value of parents and their role rose to the top in crazy ways because other influences in kids lives were mostly cut off.

So, on those days, post-pandemic, when it feels like you aren’t accomplishing anything, by showing up and being present, you are doing significantly more. When it feels like you’re having to say the same things over and over again, say it one more time.

Here’s what I know: Students of parents who are present now grow to value parents when they can’t be present in the future. Your efforts now, are growing a relationship that has the most impact than any other in your kids’ lives.

2. Prioritizing the health of your family is worth it. I’ve been in student ministry for 13 years. I’ve been in the same church for 7 years. I’ve seen firsthand the fruit of families that make mental, spiritual, relational, physical health a priority. And during the pandemic it was easier for families to put away distractions and things that pull away from these healthy practices.

But pre-pandemic and post-pandemic, it is not easy. I’ve seen families have to surrender reputation to fight for what was best. These families fight for values not varsity spots. They fight their kids reputation so their kids can find their true identity. They dig deep into who they are to become who they are meant to be.

The reality I’ve found is this: When families make health a value to pursue, they don’t find themselves trying to keep up with the Jones’ because they are too focused on being like Jesus. Seriously. That sounds cliché, but the families that I have seen do this well, didn’t care about the Jones’s because they were too busy making much of Jesus, in the way that God designed each of them to do that.

I think the writer of Hebrews establishes my point when the book says this in chapter 12: “And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.” When we put our focus on Him, he makes us like him. Not easy, but so important.

3. You are not alone. In a variety of experiences, I have heard parents express a feeling of being on an island in their parenting. That due to their current situation and experience, they find themselves feeling like they are the only ones that are experiencing it or trying to change the situation.

The pandemic leveled that baseline. Everybody was dealing with eLearning. Everybody was wrestling with the value of virtual learning and in-person learning. Every parent was trying to determine what the best course was for their kids.

And hopefully the pandemic revealed that there are resources and people who are trying to be a help to this gift of parenting. Teachers who are going to the extra mile. Small Group Leaders reaching out to care and connect with your kids. Coaches digging into life issues rather than just scouting reports.

Whether it is coaches, teachers, small group leaders, friends, or pastors, there are people around you who want to partner with you to come alongside you and your kids. By pushing your kids to leverage those resources, you aren’t weak; you’re smart. Use us.

Last thing, parents. If you’re tired, which I’m guessing many of you are, we get it. If you’re tired of being tired, it makes sense! And can I encourage you – as someone who has watched students grow up – it. is. worth. it. Every late night. Every long conversation. Every frustrating discipline…errr… teachable moment. They are all worth it and we are with you.

If you’re reading this and you’re a parent, I hope that this is encouraging to you. The things that we learned in the pandemic can still be realities after the pandemic. If you’re reading this and you’re not a parent, send it to someone who needs to be encouraged and then find a way to come alongside a parent.